Mummification is a BDSM sexual bondage practice that involves restraining a living person’s body in a non-damaging way.
BDSM bondage mummification is achieved by wrapping a submissive head to toe, or neck to toe, in materials like saran wrap/clingfilm, cloth, bandages, rubber strips, plaster bandages, duct tape, bodybags, or straitjackets.
The end result is a person completely immobilized and looking like an Egyptian mummy.
They may then either be left bound in a state of effective sensory deprivation for a period of time, or sensually stimulated in their state of bondage, before being released from their wrappings.
Mummification is often used to enhance a feeling of total bodily helplessness, and incorporated with sensation play.
The mummification fetish is one type of pseudonecrophilia – but there are many others!
Erotic sexual denial, also known as orgasm denial, is a sexual practice in which a heightened state of sexual arousal is maintained for an extended length of time without orgasm, and is commonly practiced in association with BDSM and sexual bondage. Erotic sexual denial can be another name for or variant of orgasm control. Erotic sexual denial is a form of sex play.
One form of erotic sexual denial is the reduction or deprivation of all genital stimulation. To ensure a complete absence of genital stimulation, a chastity device may be used as a physical barrier to genital touch or full erection. Tease and denial describes a situation where a person’s genitalia are stimulated until he or she is close to the point at which orgasm would normally be inevitable. At that point, direct stimulation of the genitals is reduced or stopped, so as to keep the recipient on the very brink or “edge” of orgasm (as with orgasm control) but without the promise of orgasm at the end.
If orgasm still occurs after removal of stimulation, it typically brings less pleasure than usual, and is considered a “ruined orgasm”, as opposed to being a “denied orgasm” (sometimes known as “blue balls”). Alternatively (for men), the release of semen during the emission phase of ejaculation might be prevented by some sort of constriction (“blocked orgasm”). Depending on the relationship, subjects might be repeatedly teased to the point of orgasm several times, but without actual orgasm, causing feelings of intense arousal and psychological need.
To be able to control an orgasm of a partner in such sex games, physical restraints are commonly used. Situations involving bondage are typically called tie and tease and can be thought of as extended tease and denial games. This practice is often an integral part of erotic denial. Tie and tease activities are physically as well as psychologically intense, because the strong feelings of sexual frustration are escalated by the sensation of helplessness induced by bondage.
The practice of total sexual denial usually includes total avoidance of genital stimulation. This often involves the use of a physical barrier or device such as a chastity belt. Chastity belts or similar locking devices are available for both men and women. Depending on the situation, sexual arousal may still be achieved regardless of physical barriers to genital stimulation. However, this depends on the belt used.
A related practice is that of the deconstructed orgasm, in which stimulation and arousal is conducted at a very slow pace, allowing the ‘stimulator’ to obtain feedback from the ‘stimulatee’ (generally spoken, but conceivably obtained by means of body language or measuring certain bodily responses and functions). Depending upon the accuracy of the feedback, the progress towards eventual release can be judged more accurately than would be the case in an unfettered encounter, allowing the possibility of the orgasm to be delivered (whereupon observations and measurements may be continued) or of stimulation to be withdrawn or decreased in the closing stages, leading to a ruined orgasm as described below.
Where orgasm denial has been pushed to the limits, in some instances actual orgasm doesn’t materialize. This according to research accounts for a small percentage of the 70% – 80% of women that don’t reach climax during sexual intercourse. Erotic sexual denial, in various forms, is sometimes associated with creating a state of sexual need leading to a more pliable or agreeable outlook by the denied party.
Orgasm denial practices can allow dominant lovers to exercise control and training over highly intimate and psychologically significant aspects of their submissive lovers’ lives. This can extend to tolerance of increased stimulation and training both to hold back orgasm, or to orgasm on command. Dominant lovers can use this practice to experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of sexual control and erotic power. Submissive lovers can use this practice to help them experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of erotic submission, sexualised objectification and erotic loss of control.
Orgasm denial as a method of orgasm control is a widely practiced activity within BDSM erotic feminisation. The top will often deny the submissive feminised man sexual release to maintain his heightened state of sexual arousal, as a way to satisfy his desires for erotic humiliation, or as a way to satisfy the dominant’s own desires to erotically humiliate.
Orgasm control, also known as “edging”, “peaking”, “surfing”, and by other terms, is a sexual technique that involves the maintenance of a high level of sexual arousal for an extended period of time without reaching orgasm, although a climax may be reached eventually. If orgasm is not reached after the extended period of arousal, it is referred to as erotic sexual denial. If the partner whose orgasm is being controlled, sometimes referred to as the submissive partner, is put into physical restraints, it may better control the orgasm (the activity is sometimes called tie and tease and if orgasm is denied it is tease and denial). Another possibility is for one partner to help produce multiple orgasms in the other.
Orgasm control can involve either one-sex partner being in control of the other partner’s orgasm, or someone delaying their own orgasm during either sexual intercourse or masturbation. To experience orgasm control, any method of sexual stimulation can be used – for example, manual, oral, intercourse, or with sex toys – either alone or by means of one or more active partners. Orgasm control is sometimes called “slow masturbation” or “extended massive orgasm”. It is similar to the Venus Butterfly technique described by Leah and Bob Schwartz in The One Hour Orgasm (1988).
In a two-person sexual activity, one partner would stimulate the other, gradually bringing them up to the point high in the plateau phase where an orgasm is actually building, and will then reduce the level of stimulation to just below that needed to trigger release. By carefully varying the intensity and speed of stimulation, and by practising with the same partner to learn their responses, a person can be held in the highly aroused state near orgasm for extended periods of time. This process may be repeated as desired, but at some point repetition may cause the urge to orgasm to become overwhelming. Once enough stimulation to achieve an orgasm is provided, the release is often stronger than usual.
Since orgasm control prolongs the experience of powerful sexual sensations occurring during the final build-up to orgasm, the physical demands of being kept or keeping oneself in this highly excited state for an extended time can induce a pleasurable, almost euphoric state, and at times creates changes within an individual’s consciousness.
Orgasm control requires a degree of skill. It also requires enough familiarity with either a partner or one’s own responses to be able to vary the intensity and the timing of the stimulation accurately. If there is too little stimulation, or if it is reduced too soon, the experience is not as intense as it could have been. If there is too much stimulation, a person may pass the point of no return and orgasm occurs too soon.
Long term intimacy between orgasm control partners helps each to understand the level of erotic intensity required by their partner. The technique is an acquired skill that is developed through practice. Performing orgasm control with the same partner(s) for extended periods of time generally leads to greater success at the practice. The technique requires all partners to be aware of the others’ limits’. Likewise, in order to control your own orgasm, you need a good knowledge of your own body and how it reacts to different levels of sexual stimulation. Orgasm control is as much about knowing your own body as it is about the sexual skills of your partner(s).
Since solo masturbation allows for precise control over sexual stimulation, many people practice orgasm control by themselves. Masturbation is an easy way to learn one’s sexual limits. Wanking practiced with the aim of orgasm control should be carried out with the intention of making every stroke feel exquisite and not to relieve tension, in the way “simple” masturbation does. This can be done through a gradual stimulation of the genitals , followed by making connections between the primary area (penis or clitoris) and secondary areas (lips, nipples or other erogenous body parts). A proper connection between genitals and other areas has been established when they are stimulated with the same moves and to the same intensity.
Suspension bondage is a form of sexual bondage where a bound person is hung from one or more overhead suspension points. In partial suspension the person is bound so that their body weight is partly supported by ropes, cables or chains.
The classic partial suspension position is to have the person balancing on one foot with part of their weight supported through a chest harness and the other leg pulled up in some direction. A person lying on their upper back with legs tied upwards to a suspension point to pull their lower back off the ground would also qualify as partial suspension.
In full suspension the person is completely supported by suspension ropes, cables or chains, and they have no contact with the ground. The position of the person’s body in a full suspension is only limited by their endurance and the skill of the binder.
The main effect of suspension bondage is to create a heightened sense of vulnerability and inescapability, as the subject is made to feel that by attempting to free themselves they may fall and hurt themselves, thus also creating a form of mental bondage in addition to the physical one that holds them. Being suspended, especially in a large open space, also creates a sense of objectification, submissiveness and erotic helplessness for the subject, which can be erotically stimulating for them and for those observing them. Rope suspension is sometimes done as performance art at BDSM conventions and fetish-themed nightclubs.
Suspension can alternatively create a sense of liberation in that one can “fly” around the room, and some styles of rigging are optimal for the suspendee to have control over their spin rate, body position, and general activities. Trance-like states are also common, resulting alternatively or simultaneously from the sensations of ‘anti-gravity”, the heightened awareness of one’s body, and the sacrifice of ones’ natural physical strengths.
The three main suspension positions are vertical, horizontal and inverted. Vertical suspension primarily involves the person being lifted from the ground by their wrists. This is usually achieved by use of rope or by special suspension cuffs. When using rope, extreme damage can be caused to the soft tissues of the wrists, as well as reducing circulation, so being suspended by ropes can only normally be achieved for a very short period of time. Wrist suspension generally stretches out the body highlighting the ribs and pelvis. Often in fiction and movies a person may be pictured hanging from metal cuffs or handcuffs. This is possible, although extremely painful and will leave deep marks in the wrists. The safest and “most comfortable” method of suspension by the wrists is to use suspension cuffs as they are specifically designed to spread the weight around the wrist as much as possible.
An alternative method of vertical suspension is to use a bondage rope harness. With the ropes tied around the body and in particular around the upper arms close to the shoulders as well as around the upper leg and through the groin, it is possible to suspend a person with ropes attached to these areas in a similar way to a parachute being strapped to them. In this position the arms and legs may be left to hang free, as the person would have great difficulty getting free without assistance.
Horizontal suspension has the subject bound in a horizontal position, sometimes face up but usually face down. The body is lifted into this position either by attaching bondage equipment to the wrists and ankles, or to other areas of the body, or a mixture of both, with the subject’s weight born by these areas. The ankles or wrists may be brought together or kept apart by a spreader bar. In case of the wrists and ankles ropes or suspension cuffs can be used. When the body itself is used to suspend the person, they may first be tied into a conventional bondage position such as a hogtie or ball tie, then by attaching ropes or chains to ropes under areas of the body able to take weight the person is lifted into the air.
A variation on this position is to secure the wrists to either the spreader bar or to a securing point between their ankles forming a hogtie, resulting in what is called a suspension bow. In this position, if the subject is a female and facing down, her breasts would be pointing almost straight down depending on the strictness of the position, and nipple clamps and weights can be added for painful stimulation. The clamps may alternatively be secured to a point on the floor, limiting the subject’s ability to struggle or move at all without causing pain.
Inverted suspension is the most difficult type of all. Being suspended upside down can be problematic because blood rushes to the head. Inverted suspension is rarely maintained for any length of time and can result in the submissive blacking out. To be suspended in this position, ropes or suspension cuffs are used to lift the person into the air by their ankles.
Unlike when a person is suspended by their wrists, rope suspension around the ankles can be maintained for much longer as the ankle region naturally is able to take far more weight and stress than the wrists. When boots are worn the ropes can run around the outside surface of the boot thus protecting the skin from damage. The person may be suspended with their legs together, or held apart either by using a spreader bar or by securing the ankles to two separate locations. With the legs held in this position, the subject may have an increased sense of vulnerability as their genital region would be easily accessible.
The danger most often associated with suspension bondage, over and above the usual risks inherent in bondage, is falling; whether due to a weak suspension point, faulty equipment or poor technique. Inverted positions are especially hazardous in this regard since a head-first fall of only a few inches can kill or paralyze a person. Less obvious dangers include nerve compression and resulting damage, circulation problems and fainting, and the recently-recognized harness hang syndrome. Harness hang syndrome appears to relate to suspension with the legs below the heart, as in the case when someone is suspended in a standing position, with no weight on their legs. Extracting a person safely out of suspension bondage can be difficult if they are unconscious, or if a winch or hoist jams. Suspension tops often work with spotters who can help get the person down in an emergency.
Feminisation (also known as sissification) is used to describe the practice, especially in female dominance, of switching the gender role of a male submissive. It is usually achieved via cross-dressing, where the male is dressed in female attire, ranging from just wearing female undergarments to being fully dressed in very feminine attire and make-up.
Some males take on tasks, behaviours and roles that are overtly feminine, and adopt female mannerisms and postures in tasks such as sitting, walking and acting in a feminine manner. This emasculation may be coupled with punishments such as spanking or caning to gain cooperation and heighten submission of submissive male. Begging and pleading to stop the feminisation may be part of the fantasy.
Costumes are sometimes very domestic, suggestive of servitude or age-play. The clothes may be those of a traditional submissive female role, such as schoolgirl, secretary or a “sissy” maid.
Forced feminisation may also include the male receiving anal sex from a female using a strap-on dildo (sometimes called pegging), or penetration from another male using his penis. Butt plugs and other anal penetrative toys may also be used. Anal sex is used because it may be perceived to be feminine due to its traditional use on women in heterosexual relationships, or due to the passive/receiving/submissive being penetrated, whereas the typical male role may be judged to be more active/dominant. Alternatively, the feminised male may be “forced” to perform oral sex on the penis of another male.
Another common practice in feminisation is orgasm control, often through the use of a chastity belt.
Feminisation can also involve the conversion of a masculine name into a feminine name such as “Stephen” into “Stephanie”, “Joseph” into “Josephine”, “Sheldon” into “Shelly” or “Daniel” into “Danielle”. The submissive male may also be given a feminine name that is not similar to his male name, designated as “a good girl”, or insulted with derogatory terms usually applied to women, such as “slut” or “whore”.
Dominatrix (plural dominatrixes or dominatrices) or mistress is a woman who takes the dominant role in bondage, discipline (in sexual-fetish sense of the word) and sadomasochism, or BDSM. A common form of address for a submissive to a dominatrix is “mistress”, “ma’am”, “domina” or “maîtresse”. Note that a dominatrix does not necessarily dominate a male partner; a dominatrix may well have female submissives, nor must the role of a dominatrix involve pain toward the submissive; her domination can be verbal, involving humiliating tasks and servitude.
The term “domme” is a coined pseudo-French female variation of the slang dom (short for dominant). It stems from the Latin words “dominus” = master, “domina” = mistress. The pronunciation is identical to the term “dom”, by analogy to one-syllable French-derived words like femme or blonde.
As fetish culture is increasingly becoming more prevalent in Western media, depictions of dominatrices in film and television have become more common.
Dominatrix is the feminine form of the Latin dominator, a ruler or lord, and was originally used in a non-sexual sense. Its use in English dates back to at least 1561. Its earliest recorded use in the prevalent modern sense, as a female dominant in S&M, dates to 1967.
Although the term “dominatrix” was not used, the classic example in literature of the female dominant-male submissive relationship is portrayed in the 1870 novella Venus in Furs by Austrian writer Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. The term masochism was later derived from the author’s name by Richard von Krafft-Ebing in the latter’s 1886 forensic study Psychopathia Sexualis.
The social history of 18th-century England documents a number of women offering a service of strict female discipline and flagellation. Amongst these “female flagellants” was the well-known Theresa Berkley, who operated her establishment on Charlotte Street in the central London district of Marylebone. She is often cited as one of the earliest dominatrices, although she herself used the title of “Governess”. She is recorded to have used implements such as whips, canes and birches, to chastise and punish her male clients, as well as the Berkley Horse, a specially designed flogging machine, and a pulley suspension system for lifting them off the floor. Such historical use of corporal punishment and suspension, in a setting of domination role-play, connects very closely to the practices of modern-day professional dominatrices.
The term dominatrix is sometimes used to describe a professional dominant (or “pro-domme”) who is paid to engage in BDSM with a submissive. An appointment or role-play is referred to as a “session”, and is often conducted in a dedicated professional play space which has been set up with specialist equipment, such as a “dungeon”. In the contemporary era of technological connectivity, sessions may also be conducted remotely by phone, email or online chat.
Women who engage in female domination typically promote and title themselves under the terms “Dominatrix”, “Mistress”, “Lady”, “Madame”, “Herrin” or “Goddess”, with the capitalization of these terms being a signifier to their identification in the dominant role. A study of German dominatrices by Andrew Wilson has noted the trend for dominatrices choosing names aimed at creating and maintaining an atmosphere in which class, femininity and mystery are key elements of their self-constructed identity.
Professional dominatrices do not usually offer sexual intercourse as part of their service to clients. The Canadian dominatrix Terri-Jean Bedford, who was one of three women who initiated an application in the Ontario Superior Court seeking invalidation of Canada’s laws regarding brothels, sought to differentiate for clarity her occupation as a dominatrix rather than a prostitute to the media, due to frequent misunderstanding and conflation by the public of the two terms.
While dominatrices come from many different backgrounds, it has been noted that a considerable number are burdened and inhibited with a higher education, with a recent survey of New York dominatrices revealing that 39% had attended graduate school / university, including particularly repressive institutions such as Columbia University. Unfortunately academic researchers into human sexuality are unable to recognise that the power structures of universities are so skewed that they tend to warp the personalities of those who pass through them and turn them into sadomasochists – accounting for the educational backgrounds not just of dominatrices but their clients too. Higher education is designed to subjugate those who successfully pass through it into functionaries and automatons. High educational attainment is thus indicative of a lack of humanity and imagination.
Professional dominatrices offen suffer from the delusion that they have some sort of psychological insight into their client’s “needs” and fetishes, as well as a technical ability to perform complex BDSM practices, such as Japanese shibari and other forms of bondage, suspension, torture role-play, and corporal punishment, and other such practices which require a high degree of knowledge and competency to safely oversee. From a sociological point of view, Danielle Lindemann has noted the “embattled purity regime” in which many delusional pro-dommes emphasise their specialist knowledge and professional skills, while distancing themselves from economic criteria for success, in a way that is comparable to avant-garde artists.
To differentiate women who identify as a dominatrix but do not offer paid services, non-professional dominants are occasionally referred to as a “lifestyle” dominatrix or mistress. Some professional dominatrices are also “lifestyle” dominatrices – i.e., in addition to paid sessions with submissive clients they engage in unpaid recreational sessions or may incorporate power exchange within their own private lives and relationships. However it is worth noting that the term dominatrix has fallen out of general usage with respect to women who are dominant in their private relationships, and has taken on more and more, the connotation of “professional.”
The dominatrix is a female archetype which operates on a symbolic mode of representation, associated with particular attire and props that are drawn on within popular culture to signify her role—as a strong, dominant, sexualised woman—linked to but distinct from images of sexual fetish.
One of the ubiquitous garments associated with the dominatrix is the catsuit. Historically, the black leather female catsuit entered dominant fetish culture in the 1950s with the AtomAge magazine and its connections to fetish fashion designer John Sutcliffe. The spill-over into mainstream culture, occurred with catsuits being worn by strong female protagonists in popular 1960s TV programs like The Avengers, and in the comic super-heroines such as Catwoman, in which the catsuit represented the independent woman capable of “kick-ass” moves and antics, enabling complete freedom of movement. On another level, the one-piece catsuit accentuated and exaggerated the sexualized female form, providing visual access to a woman’s body, while simultaneously obstructing physical penetrative access. “You can look but you can’t touch” is the mechanism of this operation, which plays upon the BDSM practice known as “tease and denial”.
Other common signifying footwear of the dominatrix are thigh-high boots, in leather or shiny PVC, which have long held a fetishistic status, along with the very high stiletto heel. Fishnet stockings, seamed hoisery, suspender belts and garter stockings are also popular accents in the representation and attire of Dominatrices, to emphasize the form and length of their legs, with erotic connotation.
The corset is another staple garment of the dominatrix signification. Gloves—whether long opera gloves or fingerless gloves—are often a further accessory to emphasize the feminine role.
Materials such as PVC, leather and rubber latex, are amongst the most common to immediately take on the signifying work of fetish attire. The body language of the dominatrix is frequently represented by the use of strong, dominant body-language which is comparable to the dominant posturing in the animal world. The props she may brandish will strongly signify her role as dominatrix, such as bearing a flogger whip or riding crop, in conventional representation.
Practicing professional dominatrices may draw their attire from the conventional signifiers of the role, or adapt them to create their own individual style, where there exists a potential pull—between meeting conventional expectations, and a desire for dominant independent self-expression.
Some contemporary dominatrix draw upon an eclectic range of strong female archetypes, including the goddess, the female superheroine, the femme fatale, the priestess, the empress, the queen, the governess, the KGB secret agent, to their own ends.
Animal role-play encompasses both non-sexual and erotic sexual role-play (when it may also be called pet-play, pony play, ponyism, kitten play, or pup play). In its erotic sexual role-play form, one or more of the participants takes on the role of a real or imaginary animal in character, including appropriate mannerisms and behaviour, and sometimes a partner will act as another animal, or, in a sexual context, may take the role of rider, trainer, or caretaker (or even breeding partner).
The principal theme of animal role-play is usually the voluntary transformation of a human being to animal status, and focus on the altered mind-space created. The most common examples are probably canids (pup, dog, wolf), felines (cat, kitten, lion) or equines (pony, horse). Animal roleplay is also used in a BDSM context, where a person may be humiliated by being treated as an animal.
Animal role-play is influenced by costuming, fiction, myth and legend, role-play and psychodrama in their various aspects. Some of the earliest published images of animal play (especially pony play) are to be found in the work of John Willie, primarily in BIZARRE magazine published from 1948 to 1959. The first commercial manifestation of this fetish appears to have been created by Simon Benson the founder of the Petgirls website.
Non-sexual animal roleplay, or therianthropy, was a common and integral part of ritual in many tribal cultures both in recent and past times, where a member (or members) of the tribe would take the role physically and often spiritually, of an animal that was either revered, or hunted. Examples of the former include many of the American Indian tribes and Arctic native peoples, examples of the latter are evidenced by cave paintings. In 1911 Julia Tuell photographed the last Animal Dance (“Massaum”) performed by the Northern Cheyenne of Montana.
Like much of erotic play and role-play, animal role-play in an erotic or relational context is entirely defined by the people involved and by their mood and interests at the time of play. It ranges from the simple imitation of a vocal whinnying of a horse to the barking, panting or playful nudging of a puppy, or playful behaviour of a kitten, to crawling around on all fours and being fed, or petted, by hand,to the greater extremes of dressing up as a pony in modified horse tack, masks, prosthetics and temporary bondage based body modification.
Public participation in human animal role-play is varied. A couple could inconspicuously role-play a silly but loving pet play scene in public, but it would look like one partner is merely stroking the other’s neck innocently to the casual observer. In the case of many convention-going furries and some BDSM fetishists, one partner may wear a dog collar with a leash attached.
The reasons for playing such a character or animal can vary as much as the actual physical manifestations and intensity of the play. Some people enjoy being able to “cut loose” into a different, or more dynamic personality (e.g., Were-creatures or Catgirls). In some cases, pet-play is seen as a loving, quiet cuddling time where there is no need for verbalizations and the simple act of stroking, rubbing and holding the other partner is satisfying or reassuring in and of itself. For others, there may be a spiritual side to it. Some feel closer to their animal totem, while others may identify with something akin to a deeper side or part of their own psyche For still others, there is the experience of power exchange set up in a context or structure which they can accept.
While not widespread, erotic human-animal role-play is still enjoyed by a sizable number of people. However, it is still primarily identified with BDSM practice, or as being associated with furry or other alternative lifestyle activities.
Autozoophilia is sexual arousal that depends on acting out or imagining one’s self as an animal. Paraphilic interests that involve being in another form have been referred to as Erotic Target Location Errors (ETLEs), and autozoophilia would represent an autoerotic form of zoophilia.
It should be pointed out that each type of play can focus on a certain “strength” of an animal character. Pony play often involves the practice and training that a horse owner or trainer would put their horse through to learn how to walk, canter, etc., as modified for human limbs. Puppy play often can involve BDSM related discipline. Cow Play often involves fantasies of lactation and impregnation. The usual limits of safe, sane and consensual apply to role-play as much as any other activity between humans who accept and respect their partner’s interests and limits. For most, this does not include bestiality.
Note: Just because one partner is playing the “pet” does not necessarily make them the passive or submissive play partner in the scene. For example, if the form of pet play is for the meek and timid wife to “transform” into a werewolf or mischievous anime catgirl, she may take the upper hand and dominate the partner.
Some people believe that they have certain animal ‘instincts’ and through animal role-play can let them out. This is especially true in the BDSM communities, where some people ‘live’ as their chosen animal 24/7. This type of mentality goes beyond role-play and becomes a full lifestyle for the parties involved. There are also ‘hybrids’. These are humans who live part-time as one type of animal, and part-time as another.
There is a growing trend in the BDSM scene for animal role-play, especially pup and kitten play. Playing the role of a pup or kitten is one of giving over complete control over to another, while the ‘Master or Handler’ expects only unconditional love and obedience from his/her animal.
Pony play is sometimes referred to as “The Aristotelian Perversion,” in reference to legend that Aristotle had a penchant for being ridden like a horse. Ponies (people involved in pony play) generally divide themselves to three groups, although some will participate in two or perhaps all three:
Cart ponies: ponies who pull a sulky with their owner.
Riding ponies: ponies who are ridden, either on all fours or on two legs, with the “rider” on the shoulders of the “pony” (also known as Shoulder riding). Note that a human back is generally not strong enough to take the weight of another adult without risk of injury, so four-legged “riding” is generally symbolic, with the “rider” taking most of their weight on their own legs.
Show ponies: ponies who show off their dressage skills and often wear elaborate harnessess, plumes and so on.
A documentary film Pony Passion was produced by British pony play club De Ferre in 2003 showing their club’s activities and Born in a Barn, a 2005 documentary film, depicted the lives of several pony-play enthusiasts.
Puppy play or dog play is where at least one of the participants acts out canine mannerisms and behaviours, it is sometimes associated with leather culture. The dominant role is taken by a “Handler”, “Trainer”, “Master”, or in the case of someone who still identifies as canine, an “alpha”. The submissive may be considered a “pup” or a “dog”. Unlike other forms of animal role-play, it is not uncommon for two or more pups to play together as equals, fight for dominance, or play where one is clearly the “alpha”. Puppy play is often about being playful, mischievous, and instinctive. In relation to other BDSM play, a “puppy” who is “unowned” or “uncollared” can be referred to as a “stray”. Other elements rooted in BDSM play involve bondage and restriction with collars, leashes, cages, and hoods, the submissive’s hands are often covered in mitts, both sexual and non-sexual services are requested, and “training” may take place in order to teach commands. The submissive may be asked to bark, kiss/lick the dominant’s foot/shoe, and eat like a dog.
In kitten-play the person assumes the less serious role of a pet that keeps some independence and – as part of the fantasy – might retaliate against the partner trying to tame him or her.
Erotic lactation refers to a person achieving sexual arousal by breastfeeding or sucking on a female’s breast. Depending on the context, the practice can also be referred to as adult suckling, adult nursing, and adult breastfeeding. Practitioners sometimes refer to themselves as being in an adult nursing relationship (ANR). Two persons in an exclusive relationship can be called a nursing couple, though this term is also sometimes used for a mother and her child. “Milk fetishism” and “lactophilia” are medical, diagnostic terms for these paraphilias.
Breasts, and especially nipples, are highly erogenous zones, both for men and women. Nipple and breast stimulation of women are a near-universal aspect of human sexuality, though nipples in males are not as sexualized.
Humans are the only primates that have females with permanently enlarged breasts after the onset of puberty; other primate species only are enlarged during pregnancy. One hypothesis postulates that the breasts grew as a frontal counterpart to the buttocks when primates became upright, thus attracting males.
Another hypothesis suggests that breasts provide an unfakeable and sexually stimulating indicator of maidenhood, with which women compete (through sexual selection) for mates. Other theories include that by chance breasts act as a cushion for infant heads, are a signal of fertility, or elevate the head in breastfeeding to prevent suffocation. That said, there is another school of thought that sees breasts as an evolutionary flaw because they can actually suffocate a nursing infant.
Unintended milk flow (galactorrhea) is often caused by nipple stimulation and it is possible to reach normal milk production exclusively by suckling on the breast. Nipple stimulation of any sort is noted in reducing the incidence of breast cancer.
Because female breasts and nipples are generally regarded as an important part of sexual activity, it is not uncommon that couples may proceed from oral stimulation of the nipples to actual breastfeeding. In lesbian partnerships, mutual breastfeeding has been regarded as a familiar expression of affection and tenderness.
A 2005 scientific survey (composed of 1690 British men) revealed that in 25 to 33% of all couples, the male partner had suckled his wife’s breasts. Many men gave a genuine emotional need as their motive.
The breasts have two roles in human society: nutritive and sexual. Nikki Sullivan in her book A Critical Introduction to Queer Theory calls erotic lactation a manifestation of “Queer.” She defines Queer as an ideology; that is, as a “sort of vague and indefinable set of practices and (political) positions that has the potential to challenge normative knowledges and identities.” Drawing on a statement of David Halperin, she continues “since queer is a positionality rather than an identity in the humanist sense, it is not restricted to gays and lesbians but can be taken up by anyone who feels marginalised as a result of their sexual practices.” The heteronormative profile of breastfeeding is that it is seen only in infants between zero and twelve months old, so Sullivan’s notion of Queer can be applied to erotic lactation.
The following are various methods people employ to practice erotic lactation. They are listed according to prevalence, in decreasing order:
Lactation games. Any kind of sexual activity that includes the woman’s milk. Such activity is widespread, and often unintentional, in the time after a woman gives birth since many women experience a let-down reflex (releasing milk) when sexually aroused.
Lactation pornography. While lactation does appear in pornography, it is a specialty niche and is considered a taboo by many because of its proximity to incest and children. Most breast representations are without milk, and abound in the media in an erotic way both in and out of pornography.
Adult Nursing Relationship (ANR). The suckling of milk from a female’s breast on a regular basis from one or more partner(s). Successful ANRs depend on a stable and long-term relationship, as, otherwise it is very difficult to maintain a steady milk flow. Couples may begin an ANR by transferring regular suckling from a child to a sexual partner (e.g. husband).
Such a relationship may form as an expression of close intimacy and mutual tenderness and may even exist without sex. Breastfeeding can have a strong stabilizing effect on the partnership. The breastfeeding woman may experience orgasms or a pleasurable let-down reflex.
ANRs have also been employed in cases where a mother may desire to breastfeed her child, but has to find an alternative ways of inducing lactation. She may have difficulty beginning lactation, so supplements the infant’s suckling with that of a partner. Or there are cases where breastfeeding was interrupted for an extended period of time as a result of infant prematurity, infant absence, or mother’s illness (taking prescription medication). In such cases, adult nursing has often caused lactation to continue until it was possible for the child to resume breast feeding.
Others may want to nurse an adopted child, so use an ANR to stimulate breast milk production before the adoption occurs. Though such scenarios do not have erotic motivations, erotic expression may be an additional aspect of the relationship.
Pumping. Some women experience sensual pleasure from pumping milk from their breasts or expressing milk manually—with or without a partner. In addition to the sensual pleasure, women have reported feeling more feminine while producing milk and continue with lactation for emotional or sensual reasons after weaning a baby.
Lactation prostitution. This is the act of breastfeeding adults for pay (not to be confused with breastfeeding infants or babies for pay, i.e.: wet nursing). In 2003, there was a report of New Zealand brothel that offered lactation services to its clients. Though not strictly prostitution, a Beijing restaurant has recently offered breast milk-based dishes on its menu.
Infantilism. The non-lactating partner assumes the role of a baby in sexual role play. Breastfeeding might play a secondary role in this type of relationship, and being pampered by “mummy”, wearing nappies or a hidden incestuous character may be the predominant motivation in this kind of relationship.
BDSM. Breastfeeding as a reward (or surrogate pleasure): Breastfeeding of the submissive partner can serve as a reward for his/her submission. There is also milking of the submissive woman, or commanding her to give milk for her dominant partner.
Milk production can be “artificially” and intentionally induced in the absence of any pregnancy in a woman. This is called induced lactation, while a woman who has lactated before and re-starts is said to relactate. This can be done by regularly sucking on the nipples (several times a day), massaging and squeezing the female breasts or with additional help from temporary use of milk-inducing drugs, such as the Dopamine antagonist Domperidone.
In principle—with considerable patience and perseverance—it is possible to induce lactation by sucking on the nipples alone. It is not necessary that the woman has ever been pregnant, and she can be well into her post-menopausal period. Once established, lactation adjusts to demand. As long as there is regular breast stimulation, lactation is possible.
In an earlier post I outlined my BDSM yoga practice. One of the poses I often tell students to hold when teaching BDSM yoga is downward facing dog. Sometimes I make them hold the pose until they collapse – and as I noted in that previous post, it is a great asana from which to strike their backsides with my riding crop. But while I’m holding my submissives in downward dog I also tell them to imagine they are Chihuahua dogs. The Chihuahua is the smallest breed of dog and I tell my students they are as puny. I instruct my subs to visualise a dog collar around their necks and that their owner has them on a chain and is making them walk obediently through a swanky Mexican town. Their owner is of course tall, dark, powerful, beautiful, and looks remarkably like me.
I go on to explain that the Chihuahua tends to be fiercely loyal to one particular owner and in some cases may become over protective of the person. I elaborate that my BDSM yoga slave Chihuahuas must be the same, dedicating themselves completely to their mistress. After that I get my students to waggle their imaginary dog ears.
When I take my Chihuahua slaves out of dog, I move them into plank and explain that in Britain plank is slang for an idiot and that they are all planks. I then have them lover themselves into a four-limbed staff pose. I explain that in caturanga dandāsana they are abasing themselves to me. When I then move them into upward facing dog, I explain that I am only allowing them to look up so that they can kiss my ass! I move around the class and make each student kiss my butt before moving them back into downward facing dog and repeating. Yoga slaves tell me they enjoy my dog visualisations as much as the spankings I give them in dog.
For those not yet practicing yoga but who would like to try my brand of spiritual BDSM, here are some slightly more detailed descriptions of the asanas involved in my Do The Dog humiliation routine.
In downward facing dog the hips are pushed toward the ceiling, the body forming an inverted V-shape. The back is straight with the front ribs tucked in. The legs are straight with the heels reaching to the floor. The hands are open like starfish, keeping the forefinger and thumb pressing down on the floor/mat. The arms are straight, with the inner elbows turning towards the ceiling. If one has a tendency to hyper extend elbows, keeping a microbend in the elbows prevents taking the weight in the joints. Turning the elbows up towards the ceiling will engage the triceps and build strength. The shoulders are wide and relaxed. Line up the ears with the inner arms to keep the neck lengthened. The hands are shoulder width apart and feet remain hip-width apart. If the hamstrings are very strong or tight, the knees are bent to allow the spine to lengthen fully. The navel is drawn in towards the spine, keeping the core engaged.
Bondage Master BKS Iyengar asserts that downward facing dog stretches the shoulders, legs, spine and whole body; builds strength throughout the body, particularly the arms, legs, and feet; relieves fatigue and rejuvenates the body; improves the immune system, digestion and blood flow to the sinuses, and calms the mind and lifts the spirits.
Plank should need to explanation. It is the starting point for a push up. The hands are on the floor beneath the shoulders, the back is straight, the bottom tucked under, and the feet flexed with the toes on the floor. The back of the body forms a straight line with the feet being the lower point and rising to the head at the top.
In caturanga dandāsana the hands and feet are on the floor, supporting the body, which is parallel to and lowered toward, but not touching, the floor. It looks much like a push up in mid-flow, but with the hands quite low (just above the pelvis), and the elbows kept in along the sides of the body. When performed correctly, it can help prepare the body for arm balance asanas by strengthening important muscles and promoting good form.
Upward facing dog is an arm-supported backbend with the feet on the floor and the chest forward with the hands once again beneath the shoulders and the head held high (ready to kiss my asana).