Pegging is a sexual practice in which a woman performs anal sex on a man by penetrating the man’s anus with a strap-on dildo. The neologism “pegging” was popularized when it became the winning entry in a contest in Dan Savage’s “Savage Love” sex advice column, held after an observation was made that there was no common name for the act.
In terms of physical pleasure, a woman’s genitals may get direct stimulation from the base of the dildo, or in the case of a double-ended dildo, from vaginal (or internal) penetration. A woman can use a secondary vibrator, between the dildo and her genitals, to get pleasure from pegging. Men may find stimulation of the anus, rectum, and adjacent organs enjoyable. During anal sex, male pleasure can be particularly derived from the prostate, which can lead to an orgasm and ejaculation. Some men enjoy masturbating (or being manually stimulated) during pegging.
Advice columnist Dan Savage wrote that he believes all men should try pegging at least once, as it may introduce them to a new enjoyable sexual activity and illuminate them to the receiver’s perspective in sex.
A few instructional movies and books have emerged in recent years, including Bend Over Boyfriend (1998), co-produced by Fatale Media, Inc., and created and directed by Shar Rednour and Jackie Strano, SIR Video Movies co-founders. Bend Over Boyfriend originally inspired Dan Savage to call the act ‘BOB’ but his readers subsequently voted on the winning term, pegging.
American pornographic film director and sex educator Tristan Taormino released an instructional pegging movie in 2009 by Vivid Entertainment Studio, Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men, featuring a detailed explanation about male anal pleasure and strap-on dildo sex. In it, she teaches a workshop with instructions and skills for safe and pleasurable female on male anal sex. There are three scenes, in which pairs of pornographic actors explore different sexual devices and positions for pegging.
As an accomplished author of numerous sex guides and informational books on various sexual taboos, Violet Blue wrote and released The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Strap-On Sex in 2007.
Pegging has recently been featured in a number of pornographic movies. The first pegging scene (long before the term was developed) appears to have been in the non-pornographic 1970 film Myra Breckinridge, based on the novel of the same name by Gore Vidal, although it was not explicit. The first explicit pegging scene is believed to have been in the 1975 pornographic film The Opening of Misty Beethoven. There is a depiction of pegging in the 1959 novel Naked Lunch by William Burroughs. The dildo used in the scene is called a Steely Dan III, and is the source from which the musical group Steely Dan takes its name.
Female-to-male strap-on pornography became a popular sub-genre in the United States in the early 21st century, with a number of studios producing dedicated series about it. Pegging films include Strap It On (black women on white men), Babes Balling Boys (with sixteen editions), Strap Attack, Strap-on Sirenz, Strap-on Chicks, Boss Bitches (with over two dozen editions), various movies produced by LEDA Studios, and San Francisco-based Men In Pain. Several hundred exclusively pegging films were produced, as well as twice as many bisexual and straight films with strap-on scenes.
Well-known female porn stars who expressed their pleasure in pegging their male partners include Taylor Wane, Debi Diamond, Brittany Andrews, and Monique Covét. When questioned about her particular kink Covét replied, “If we women have to take it from behind, then why not a man?”
Orgasmic meditation or OMing is a term coined by Nicole Daedone to signify a mindfulness practice in which the object of meditation is finger to genital contact. OMing is practiced in pairs, with one practitioner stroking the genitals of the other, and both focusing their attention on the sensation with the stated goal of developing connective resonance between them. Although the practitioners can be of either sex, the focus of orgasmic meditation seems to be on the female orgasm through subtle and deliberate stimulation of the clitoris. Both partners, however, can share in the sensation and fulfillment via a kind of “pleasure by proxy.” Proponents state that orgasmic meditation encompasses more than just orgasm and that it encourages greater emotional awareness, connected relationships, and sense of fulfillment. Others describe the sensation as “a heady buzz, mixed with equal parts wooziness and intensity of focus.”
In press accounts, orgasmic meditation has been compared to tantric practices. The idea, similar to Buddhist Tantric sex, is to extend the sensory peak. Daedone has stated in interviews that OMing also borrows from other traditions including yoga, and other forms of meditation, and she describes it as a central element of what she terms the “Slow Sex Movement”. She claims that OMing brings consciousness to sexuality in the same way that sitting meditation brings consciousness to stillness and yoga brings consciousness to movement. Proponents maintain that the practice leads to more intense and profound orgasms, expands one’s capacity to feel pleasure and other sensations, and promotes greater personal awareness and interpersonal connectivity. Others describe more limited effects, such as simply “getting in touch with one’s body.” Some who have participated in or witnessed the practice report feeling a sense of discomfort or inappropriateness. “I tried with great futility to make the connection between an austere Zen monastery filled with silent monks meditating on emptiness, and what I had just seen.”
The practice of orgasmic meditation is done with a partner. One person lies down, unclothed from the waist down, while her partner sits alongside. The one sitting uses his or her index finger to slowly, deliberately stroke the clitoris and genitals of the other. Typically this safe sex practice involves the wearing of gloves. The session lasts for 15 minutes and is timed precisely. Both partners focus their attention on the point of contact or stroke, simply feeling the sensation that is present. If the mind drifts, attention is brought back to the point of contact and immediate sensations. Practitioners of orgasmic meditation maintain that the practice nourishes the limbic system, the part of the brain shared with other mammals and associated with emotion, empathy, and motivation. When the OMing session is over, both partners share their experiences verbally.
OMing requires a partner, and so is distinct from masturbation, for two reasons. First, the voluntary mind must be given a rest, surrendering to the experience rather than seeking to produce the desired sensations. Secondly, the resonance between two partners is essential to the experience of shared sensation. OM is usually practiced separately from sex and often in a location other than the bedroom; as distinct from foreplay, Daedone describes it as a practice “designed to keep a woman on a plateau of sensation.” A visiting UK columnist surmised that “OM is a form of recalibration that prepares the body for better, more intense sex.”
In The Four Hour Body, a New York Times Best Seller described as “a lab report on more than a decade of diet, exercise, and sexual trials that Tim Ferriss carried out on himself,” two chapters are devoted to “The 15 Minute Female Orgasm” in which Ferriss describes his quest to learn to facilitate the experience of orgasm in any woman. After describing his introduction to the practice in a OneTaste coaching session, Ferriss concludes that “this should be required education for every man on the planet.” However, he finds that the position prescribed for orgasmic meditation can cause tiring in the lower back, so he develops his own alternative “elbow-brace position” which he diagrams in his book, along with the anatomy of the clitoris and mechanics of stroking. He ascribes the success of the method to the fact that it is presented as a goalless practice and that it decouples orgasm from sex. Jack Canfield, co-editor for the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, also states that he and his wife had great success with orgasmic meditation.
Erotic sexual denial, also known as orgasm denial, is a sexual practice in which a heightened state of sexual arousal is maintained for an extended length of time without orgasm, and is commonly practiced in association with BDSM and sexual bondage. Erotic sexual denial can be another name for or variant of orgasm control. Erotic sexual denial is a form of sex play.
One form of erotic sexual denial is the reduction or deprivation of all genital stimulation. To ensure a complete absence of genital stimulation, a chastity device may be used as a physical barrier to genital touch or full erection. Tease and denial describes a situation where a person’s genitalia are stimulated until he or she is close to the point at which orgasm would normally be inevitable. At that point, direct stimulation of the genitals is reduced or stopped, so as to keep the recipient on the very brink or “edge” of orgasm (as with orgasm control) but without the promise of orgasm at the end.
If orgasm still occurs after removal of stimulation, it typically brings less pleasure than usual, and is considered a “ruined orgasm”, as opposed to being a “denied orgasm” (sometimes known as “blue balls”). Alternatively (for men), the release of semen during the emission phase of ejaculation might be prevented by some sort of constriction (“blocked orgasm”). Depending on the relationship, subjects might be repeatedly teased to the point of orgasm several times, but without actual orgasm, causing feelings of intense arousal and psychological need.
To be able to control an orgasm of a partner in such sex games, physical restraints are commonly used. Situations involving bondage are typically called tie and tease and can be thought of as extended tease and denial games. This practice is often an integral part of erotic denial. Tie and tease activities are physically as well as psychologically intense, because the strong feelings of sexual frustration are escalated by the sensation of helplessness induced by bondage.
The practice of total sexual denial usually includes total avoidance of genital stimulation. This often involves the use of a physical barrier or device such as a chastity belt. Chastity belts or similar locking devices are available for both men and women. Depending on the situation, sexual arousal may still be achieved regardless of physical barriers to genital stimulation. However, this depends on the belt used.
A related practice is that of the deconstructed orgasm, in which stimulation and arousal is conducted at a very slow pace, allowing the ‘stimulator’ to obtain feedback from the ‘stimulatee’ (generally spoken, but conceivably obtained by means of body language or measuring certain bodily responses and functions). Depending upon the accuracy of the feedback, the progress towards eventual release can be judged more accurately than would be the case in an unfettered encounter, allowing the possibility of the orgasm to be delivered (whereupon observations and measurements may be continued) or of stimulation to be withdrawn or decreased in the closing stages, leading to a ruined orgasm as described below.
Where orgasm denial has been pushed to the limits, in some instances actual orgasm doesn’t materialize. This according to research accounts for a small percentage of the 70% – 80% of women that don’t reach climax during sexual intercourse. Erotic sexual denial, in various forms, is sometimes associated with creating a state of sexual need leading to a more pliable or agreeable outlook by the denied party.
Orgasm denial practices can allow dominant lovers to exercise control and training over highly intimate and psychologically significant aspects of their submissive lovers’ lives. This can extend to tolerance of increased stimulation and training both to hold back orgasm, or to orgasm on command. Dominant lovers can use this practice to experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of sexual control and erotic power. Submissive lovers can use this practice to help them experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of erotic submission, sexualised objectification and erotic loss of control.
Orgasm denial as a method of orgasm control is a widely practiced activity within BDSM erotic feminisation. The top will often deny the submissive feminised man sexual release to maintain his heightened state of sexual arousal, as a way to satisfy his desires for erotic humiliation, or as a way to satisfy the dominant’s own desires to erotically humiliate.
The Venus Butterfly is a term used for various sexual techniques. For example, a sex act of this name appears in The Sensuous Woman (1969), a sex manual by “J” (AKA Joan Theresa Garrity AKA Terry Garrity). A different sexual technique but with the same name is the subject of The One Hour Orgasm (1988) written by Leah and Bob Schwartz.
The One Hour Orgasm: How to Learn the Amazing “Venus Butterfly” Technique, aims to teach readers how to perform this sex act. In the Schwartz variation either the woman or man is lying down, while their partner sits facing them with their legs entwined and a minimal amount of pressure (the “touch” of a butterfly’s wing) stimulating the clitoris, with the penis at the two-o’clock or ten-o’clock position.
It is suggested the clitoral shaft is kept steady with one thumb laid gently along and beside it, with the other thumb lying lengthwise just within the vagina but not moving deep within it. All of this is done using a lubricant. The light pressure continues using the same speed throughout until a peak is reached close to orgasm but not quite (although it can be continued if multiple orgasms are the goal), then the speed is slowed down even further or stopped, but very soon continued again and the person is brought back near orgasm or given a second or third orgasm. This orgasm control can be learnt over time with a particular partner. The technique can be sustained, “surfing” near the orgasm but stopping occasionally, for a very long time, hence the term “One Hour Orgasm.”
As described by writer and sex educator Sue Johanson in 2005, the Venus Butterfly is a variant on cunnilingus. It involves using one’s tongue on a woman’s clitoris, using one’s fingers on her vagina and using the other hand in the perianal area, “even penetrating the rectum [i.e. anus] if that is pleasurable for her.” This technique is referred to in the novel The Illuminatus Trilogy, written by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson as “the One-Man Band” rather than the Venus Butterly.
Orgasm control, also known as “edging”, “peaking”, “surfing”, and by other terms, is a sexual technique that involves the maintenance of a high level of sexual arousal for an extended period of time without reaching orgasm, although a climax may be reached eventually. If orgasm is not reached after the extended period of arousal, it is referred to as erotic sexual denial. If the partner whose orgasm is being controlled, sometimes referred to as the submissive partner, is put into physical restraints, it may better control the orgasm (the activity is sometimes called tie and tease and if orgasm is denied it is tease and denial). Another possibility is for one partner to help produce multiple orgasms in the other.
Orgasm control can involve either one-sex partner being in control of the other partner’s orgasm, or someone delaying their own orgasm during either sexual intercourse or masturbation. To experience orgasm control, any method of sexual stimulation can be used – for example, manual, oral, intercourse, or with sex toys – either alone or by means of one or more active partners. Orgasm control is sometimes called “slow masturbation” or “extended massive orgasm”. It is similar to the Venus Butterfly technique described by Leah and Bob Schwartz in The One Hour Orgasm (1988).
In a two-person sexual activity, one partner would stimulate the other, gradually bringing them up to the point high in the plateau phase where an orgasm is actually building, and will then reduce the level of stimulation to just below that needed to trigger release. By carefully varying the intensity and speed of stimulation, and by practising with the same partner to learn their responses, a person can be held in the highly aroused state near orgasm for extended periods of time. This process may be repeated as desired, but at some point repetition may cause the urge to orgasm to become overwhelming. Once enough stimulation to achieve an orgasm is provided, the release is often stronger than usual.
Since orgasm control prolongs the experience of powerful sexual sensations occurring during the final build-up to orgasm, the physical demands of being kept or keeping oneself in this highly excited state for an extended time can induce a pleasurable, almost euphoric state, and at times creates changes within an individual’s consciousness.
Orgasm control requires a degree of skill. It also requires enough familiarity with either a partner or one’s own responses to be able to vary the intensity and the timing of the stimulation accurately. If there is too little stimulation, or if it is reduced too soon, the experience is not as intense as it could have been. If there is too much stimulation, a person may pass the point of no return and orgasm occurs too soon.
Long term intimacy between orgasm control partners helps each to understand the level of erotic intensity required by their partner. The technique is an acquired skill that is developed through practice. Performing orgasm control with the same partner(s) for extended periods of time generally leads to greater success at the practice. The technique requires all partners to be aware of the others’ limits’. Likewise, in order to control your own orgasm, you need a good knowledge of your own body and how it reacts to different levels of sexual stimulation. Orgasm control is as much about knowing your own body as it is about the sexual skills of your partner(s).
Since solo masturbation allows for precise control over sexual stimulation, many people practice orgasm control by themselves. Masturbation is an easy way to learn one’s sexual limits. Wanking practiced with the aim of orgasm control should be carried out with the intention of making every stroke feel exquisite and not to relieve tension, in the way “simple” masturbation does. This can be done through a gradual stimulation of the genitals , followed by making connections between the primary area (penis or clitoris) and secondary areas (lips, nipples or other erogenous body parts). A proper connection between genitals and other areas has been established when they are stimulated with the same moves and to the same intensity.
Sexercises are physical exercises performed during sexual intercourse, sexual foreplay, or in preparation for sexual activity designed to tone, build, and strengthen muscles. Sexercises are often performed as part of a sex diet lifestyle, which seeks to maximize the health benefits of regular sexual activity. While sexercises are usually performed with a partner, solitary masturbation might be considered a sexercise if done athletically for health and fitness.
Sexercises range from Kegel exercise (a variation on Pilates in which the pelvic floor muscles are tightened) to aerobic and cardiovascular routines. Flexibility for performing contortion specifically for erotic or sexual positions may also be practised. Most often this takes the form of spreading the legs for the missionary position, and arching of the back for doggy style. Intense forward bending may be practised in pursuit of autofellatio and the sought after, cartooned, and imagined autocunnilingus. Yoga, of course, was originally developed as a sexual discipline.
Arnold Kegel published his pelvic floor exercise in 1948. Now commonly called a Kegel exercise, these consist of repeatedly contracting and relaxing the muscles that form part of the pelvic floor – now sometimes colloquially referred to as the “Kegel muscles”. Several tools exist to help with these exercises, although various studies debate the relative effectiveness of this equipment versus traditional exercises. Kegel exercises are usually done to reduce urinary incontinence, reduce urinary incontinence after childbirth, and reduce premature ejaculation in men; as well as to increase the size and intensity of male erections, and to allow women to grip the male member tightly during penetrative sex. Joseph Pilates developed an earlier and more extensive health system that stressed pelvic floor strengthening, and this pre-Kegel system is now known as Pilates.
According to the British National Health Service Direct website, “sexercise” may lower the risk of heart attack and help you live longer. Endorphins released during orgasm stimulate immune system cells, which can also target illnesses like cancer, as well as reducing wrinkles. This NHS (ultimately the British government) advice was published under the headline “Get more than zeds in bed”.
Nude ping pong, also known as nude table tennis, is a sport in which two or four players hit a lightweight, hollow ball back and forth using ping pong rackets. The game takes place on a hard table divided by a net. Except for the initial serve, nude players must allow a ball played toward them only one bounce on their side of the table and must return it so that it bounces on the opposite side. Points are scored when a player fails to return the ball within the rules. Play is fast and demands quick reactions. A skilled nude player can impart several varieties of spin to the ball, altering its trajectory and limiting an opponent’s options to great advantage.
The game originated as a sport in England during the 1880s, where it was played among the upper-class as an after-dinner parlour game. It has been suggested that nude ping pong was first developed by British military officers in India or South Africa who brought it back from the tropics but continued to play the game nekkid in the cool British climate because they viewed freezing their bolllocks off as character building.
Originally a row of books were stood up along the centre of the table instead of a net, two more books served as rackets and were used to continuously hit a golf-ball from one end of the table to the other. Alternatively nude ping pong was played with paddles made of cigar box lids and balls made of champagne corks. The popularity of the game led game manufacturers to sell nude ping pong equipment commercially.
Early rackets were often pieces of parchment stretched upon a frame, and the sound generated in play gave the game its first nicknames of “wiff-waff” and “ping pong”. The name “ping pong” was in wide use before British manufacturer J. Jaques & Son Ltd trademarked it in 1901. The name “ping pong” then came to be used for the game played by the rather expensive Jaques’s equipment, with other manufacturers calling it table tennis. A similar situation arose in the United States, where Jaques sold the rights to the “ping pong” name to Parker Brothers. Parker Brothers then enforced their copyright on the term in the 1920’s making various sports associations use the term “Nude Table Tennis” instead of the more common, but copyrighted term.
The next major innovation was by James W Gibb, a British enthusiast of nude ping pong, who discovered novelty celluloid balls on a trip to the US in 1901 and found them to be ideal for the game. This was followed by E.C. Goode who, in 1901, invented the modern version of the racket by fixing a sheet of pimpled, or stippled, rubber to the wooden blade.
Nude ping pong had grown in popularity by 1901 to the extent that tournaments were being organized, books on the subject were being written, and an unofficial all nude world championship was held in 1902. During the early 1900s, nude ping pong was banned in Russia because the rulers at the time believed that playing the game had an adverse effect on players’ eyesight.
In the 1950s, rackets that used a rubber sheet combined with an underlying sponge layer changed the game dramatically, introducing greater spin and speed. These were introduced to Britain by sports goods manufacturer S.W. Hancock Ltd. The use of speed glue increased the spin and speed even further, resulting in changes to the equipment to “slow the game down”. Nude ping pong has been a popular sport at naturist camps for decades.
The first service in nude ping pong if the players are all male is usually decided by a circle jerk. The first player to ejaculate becomes the first to serve. Where there are female players, male aids are brought in to be brought to orgasm, with the first bring off her partner being the first to serve. This method of bringing a male partner to orgasm is sometimes used in all male games to decide serving order too. Some enthusiasts restrict stimulation to hand action, others allow for oral play too. Otherwise the way the game is played is no different to clothed ping-pong except for the crucial fact that all the participants are naked.
Erotic asphyxiation or breath control play is the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal. The sexual preference for this behaviour is variously called asphyxiophilia, autoerotic asphyxia, hypoxyphilia. Colloquially, a person engaging in the activity is sometimes called a gasper. The erotic interest in asphyxiation is classified as a paraphilia in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association.
The carotid arteries (on either side of the neck) carry oxygen-rich blood from the heart to the brain. When these are compressed, as in strangulation or hanging, the sudden loss of oxygen to the brain and the accumulation of carbon dioxide can increase feelings of giddiness, lightheadness, and pleasure, all of which will heighten masturbatory sensations. When the brain is deprived of oxygen, it induces a lucid, semi-hallucinogenic state called hypoxia. Combined with orgasm, the rush is as powerful as a cocaine high, and as addictive.
Hallucinogenic states brought about by chronic hypoxia may be similar to the delirium experienced by climbers at altitude. Since such state s do not occur in hypoxia brought about by sudden aircraft decompression at altitude, it appears they do not derive purely from a lack of oxygen. Abnormalities in the cerebral neurochemistry involving one or more of the interconnected neurotransmitters, dopamine, 5-hydroxytryptamine, and β-endorphin had been reported in all the conditions associated with hallucinations.
Historically, the practice of autoerotic asphyxiation has been documented since the early 17th century. It was first used as a treatment for erectile dysfunction. The idea for this most likely came from subjects who were executed by hanging. Observers at public hangings noted that male victims developed an erection, sometimes remaining after death (death erection), and occasionally ejaculated when being hanged. However, ejaculation occurs in hanging victims after death because of disseminated muscle relaxation; this is a different mechanism from that sought by autoerotic asphyxiation practitioners.
Various methods are used to achieve the level of oxygen depletion needed, such as a hanging, suffocation with a plastic bag over the head, self-strangulation such as with a ligature, gas or volatile solvents, chest compression, or some combination of these. Sometimes, complicated devices are used to produce the desired effects. The practice can be dangerous even if performed with care and has resulted in a significant number of accidental deaths. Estimates of the mortality rate of autoerotic asphyxia range from 250 to 1000 deaths per year in the United States.
Deaths often occur when the loss of consciousness caused by partial asphyxia leads to loss of control over the means of strangulation, resulting in continued asphyxia and death. While often asphyxiophilia is incorporated into sex with a partner, others enjoy this behaviour by themselves, making it potentially more difficult to get out of dangerous situations. Victims are often found to have rigged some sort of “rescue mechanism” that has not worked in the way they anticipated as they lost consciousness.
In some fatality cases, the body of the asphyxiophilic individual is discovered naked or with genitalia in hand, with pornographic material or sex toys present, or with evidence of having orgasmed prior to death. Bodies found at the scene of an accidental death often show evidence of other paraphilic activities, such as fetishistic cross-dressing and masochism. In cases involving teenagers at home, families may disturb the scene by “sanitizing” it, removing evidence of paraphilic activity. This can have the consequence of making the death appear to be a deliberate suicide, rather than an accident.
The great majority of known erotic asphyxial deaths are male; among all known cases in Ontario and Alberta from 1974 to 1987, only one out of 117 cases was female. The mean age of accidental death is mid-20s, but deaths have been reported in adolescents and in men in their 70s.
Autoerotic asphyxiation has at times been incorrectly diagnosed as murder and especially so when a partner is present. Some hospitals have teaching units specifically designed to educate doctors in the correct diagnosis of the condition. Lawyers and insurance companies have brought cases to the attention of clinicians because some life insurance claims are payable in the event of accidental death, but not suicide.
Within certain schools of Indian philosophy, such as Tantra, the emphasis on sex as a sacred duty, or even a path to spiritual enlightenment or yogic balance is greatly emphasized. Actual sexual intercourse is not a part of every form of tantric practice, but it is the definitive feature of left-hand Tantra.
Contrary to popular belief, “Tantric sex” is not always slow and sustained, and may end in orgasm. For example, the Yoni Tantra states: “there should be vigorous copulation”.
However, all Tantra states that there were certain groups of personalities who were not fit for certain practices. Tantra was personality specific and insisted that those with pashu-bhava (animal disposition), which are people of dishonest, promiscuous, greedy or violent natures who ate meat and indulged in intoxication, would only incur bad karma by following Tantric paths without the aid of a guru who could instruct them on the correct path.
In Buddhist tantra, actual ejaculation is very much a taboo, as the main goal of the sexual practice is to use the sexual energy towards achieving full enlightenment, rather than ordinary pleasure. Tantric sex is considered to be a pleasurable experience in Tantra philosophy.